Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
