is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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