she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I've blown a few things in my day
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
