loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
