I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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