If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
