Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
