We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
