You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
