There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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