i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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