this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
