butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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