Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
