i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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