Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
do herpes really smell.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
