my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
