i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
