i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
