You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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