Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sext me about skeletons
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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