i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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