So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
