He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
