mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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