I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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