porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
