I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
