is wine microwaveable?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
