either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
where are my eyebrows?
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