so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
