I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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