It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
