So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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