Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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