that's an acceptable place to lick
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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