You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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