who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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