You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
