Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
