Non-Jews are for practice
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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