i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Shame - the story of my life.
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