come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
