Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
