the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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