dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
