i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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