what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Im part way to drunk.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
