The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
