I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
